This is a transcribed copy of "For Lunch". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
[The Magic School Bus: For Lunch opens.]
Dorothy Ann: Arnold, that's brilliant!
Arnold: It is?
Dorothy Ann: Yeah. Ms. Frizzle said to bring in something to help answer the question, "What Happens to the Food We Eat?".
Arnold: Oh, right. What did I bring?
Dorothy Ann: Your own mouth, chewing. It's the first step in--
Wanda: In digestion. Yeah, yeah, we know, Dorothy Ann. But my buddy Arnold here is not chewing food. He's chewing gum.
Dorothy Ann: Gum?
Keesha: Yep. Been chewing for 2 hours and 24 minutes. Only 6 hours and 46 minutes to go before he breaks the school gum chewing record.
Dorothy Ann: But, Wanda, what's chewing gum got to do with digestion?
Wanda: Nothing, but the first one to break the gum chewing record wins two free tickets to Action Mountain, the wildest, scariest, best scream-your-lungs-out-ride in the world, the ride of my dreams.
Keesha: Let's get the facts. Arnold wants to go on the fastet, the scariest, the best best scream-your-lungs-out-ride in the world?
Ralphie: Do you feel all right, Arnold?
Arnold: Actually, my ticket's up for grabs. I'm just helping Wanda out.
Wanda: I would have done the chewing myself, but I got a new filling. See? Ahh!
Ms. Frizzle: Aah! [grunting] Oh, good morning, class. One digestive system coming up! EE-YAH!
Ms. Frizzle: Now, THAT'S more like it.
Dorothy Ann: Was that in the lesson plan?
Ms. Frizzle: As I always say, "no guts, no digestion."
Wanda: Well, as I always say, "no chewing, no free tickets." Come on, Arnold! Chew, CHEW, ARNOLD!
Arnold: Um, Wanda, I think I, uh... swallowed it.
Wanda: Very funny, Arnold. You're kidding, right? Say, "Ahh!"
Wanda: Arnold, how could you?
Arnold: Wanda, I--
Wanda: We were going to ride Action Mountain together. You didn't do it on purpose, did you?
Arnold: No, no! It was an accident, really! I'm sorry, Wanda. I told you breaking records made me nervous. I told you I've never won anything in my life.
Ms. Frizzle: Never Say Never, Arnold.
Arnold: I TOLD you you should have picked someone else!
Wanda: Aw. Hey, Arnold, it's O.K. I mean, it's only a ride. And that's the end of that.
Ms. Frizzle: Actually, Wanda, it's only the beginning.
Wanda: Of what?
Ms. Frizzle: Our next field trip.
Wanda: Field trip!
Arnold: Field trip? Ms. Frizzle, I'd really love to go on a field trip, but--but I've got this weird feeling. I mean, I already ruined Wanda's day. What if I ruin everybody else's?
Ms. Frizzle: Well, Arnold, I do need a volunteer to stay behind.
Arnold: Stay behind?
Wanda: Come on! Let's go!
Arnold: ME! ME! Pick me!
Ms. Frizzle: Thank you, Arnold.
Arnold: All right! Wait a minute. This is too good to be truw. What's the catch?
Ms. Frizzle: Meet your substitute teacher.
Arnold: Liz? Oh...Could be worse.
Ms. Frizzle: See you very soon, Arnold.
Arnold: One field trip for them, one bag of Cheezie Wheezies for me.
Ms. Frizzle: Hmm. Our timing should be just about right.
Dorothy Ann: I don't get it. I thought we were supposed to answer the question about What Happens to the Food We Eat.
Tim: Yeah. Where ARE we going?
Ms. Frizzle: Not far, class. Not far at all. HERE WE GO!
Arnold: Mm mmm!
Keesha: Where are we?
Ralphie: Check out the pink pavement!
Dorothy Ann: The walls are dripping.
Phoebe: You know what, Ms. Frizzle? At my old school, we'd turn back in this kind of weather.
Keesha: What are those humongo white tings?
Ralphie: Whoa! If you ask me, they're humongo bus-crushers.
Ms. Frizzle: Actually, Ralphie, they're more like humongo food-crushers.
Dorothy Ann: Wait a minute. If that's food...
Carlos: ...we're either on the weirdest cutting board in the world...
Dorothy: ...or in somebody's mouth!
Ms. Frizzle: Bingo. But not just anybody's mouth.
Ms. Frizzle: Look familiar?
Arnold: Boy, it's kind of empty in here. I wonder where they went. Well, wherever they are, they don't have me to slow them down anymore. Hmm. Ahh, nothing like Cheezie Weezies with a green olive chaser.
Dorothy Ann: So the first thing that happens to the food when it gets digested is the teeth cut and grind it into smaller pieces.
Phoebe: At my old school, we were never allowed to be digested.
Ms. Frizzle: Never Say Never, Phoebe.
Dorothy Ann: But according to my research, after chewing comes swallowing...
Ms. Frizzle: I call it Action Arnold-- the wildest, scariest, best scream-your-lungs-out-ride in the world! WAHOO!
All: AAH! AAH!
Ms. Frizzle: Class, welcome to the esophagus.
Carlos: The asparagus?
Dorothy Ann: No, Carlos, the esophagus, it's where your food goes after you swallow.
Ms. Frizzle: Ahhh!
Phoebe: Ms. Frizzle, what are you doing?
Ms. Frizzle: Time to let Arnold's digestive system do the driving.
Wanda: Cool! It's like we're driving through a tunnel, but the tunnel's driving US.
Carlos: Hey, Arnold. How about a push?
Keesha: I wonder if this is what it feels like to get squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste.
Tim: Yeah, but I get the feeling we're not gonna end up on Arnold's toothbrush.
Ms. Frizzle: Right you are, Tim. The esophagus connects the mouth to the-- anyone?
Ralphie: I don't know how much more of this I can stomach.
Ms. Frizzle: Excellent, Ralphie. The stomach is the next step in digestion, and it's a real doozy!
Ms. Frizzle: In just a few moments, we'll be landing in Arnold's stomach. Thank you for flying digestion airways.
Carlos: Now that's what I call a Belly Flop.
All: Ha ha ha!
Arnold: Olive eating-- now THAT'S the school record I could go for.
Arnold: Wanda would be so impressed.
Wanda: Oh, Arnold!
Arnold: Hey, why not? AAH! Oof! "The All School Record Book"? "Olive eating-- 978"?
Arnold: O.K., it doesn't have to be olives. Ohh. There have to be other records waiting to be broken.
Ms. Frizzle: ♪ Yo ho ho and a stomach of slop ♪
Ralphie: Check out the pink cliffs of Arnold!
Tim: Ralphie, that's his stomach wall.
Wanda: Rock, dead ahead!
Keesha: I bet this is what the pilgrims felt like before they CRASH into plymouth rock.
Tim: Forget the pilgrims! The walls are moving!
All: WHOA! WHOA!
Ms. Frizzle: Hard aport, class!
Phoebe: I know Arnold likes rocks, but do you really think he'd swallow one?
Wanda: That's no rock. That's Arnold's gum.
Ralphie: Phew! That was close. Is it just me, or do you get the feeling there's more out there than just food and water?
Carlos: Whatever it is, it's eating the bus.
Ms. Frizzle: Nothing to worry about. Just a little stomach acid.
Boys: Stomach acid?
Girls: Stomach acid?
Dorothy Ann: Here at United Digestion, we believe in breaking things down. We start with the raw material of the food, put it in the mouth, and use the finest teeth in the world to tear grind, and crush it into pieces small enough to swallow. Then the food gets pushed down the esophagus line into stomach central, where we add acids and other chemicals to break the food down and disolve it into a liquid. And that's only HALF of what we do here at United Digestion.
Wanda: Man, when it comes to digestion, Arnold doesn't mess around.
Ms. Frizzle: You haven't seen anything yet.
Ralphie: You mean there's more?
Ms. Frizzle: Mm-hmm.
Wanda: All right, Arnold!
Arnold: If this doesn't impress her, nothing will. How many more to go, Liz? One more, and I break the school record for pin stuffed into a pocket protecter!
Wanda: What's that?
Keesha: Poor Arnold! Looks like he's get a hole on his stomach.
Ms. Frizzle: Not a hole, Keesha, a valve. The doorway to his small intestine.
Wanda: Yeah, well, it just swallowed the gum.
Dorothy Ann: Hey, why hasn't the gum been digested?
Ms. Frizzle: A few things are too tough to be broken up and dissolved.
Phoebe: Like school buses, right?
Ms. Frizzle: There's only one way to find out.
Ms. Frizzle: HERE WE GO!
All: AAH! Whoa!
Keesha: Where are we?
Tim: It looks like Scuba World.
Arnold: Welcome to the small intestine, the next step in digestion.
Ralphie: I don't get it. The food's been dissolved, digested, whatever. What else is left to do?
Ms. Frizzle: As I always say, Ralphie, digested is not delivered.
Ms. Frizzle: Anyone for a dip?
Phoebe: Go swimming in Arnold's digestive juice? Not me. No way!
Phoebe: How was I supposed to know she'd have digestive juice scuba gear?
Wanda: Isn't this the coolest? Hey! There's the gum! I'll be right back.
Carlos: Hey, look at this. The disolved food is dissapearing into these rubber cactus-type things.
Ms. Frizzle: They're called villi.
Ralphie: Cool. They're soaking up the food like a sponge.
Tim: But where did it go?
Dorothy Ann: Here at United Digestion, what we digest, we deliver. As the villi in the small intestine soak up the nutrients in the food, the nutrients are transferred into the bloodstream, and the bloodstream delivers the nutrients to all parts of the body because here at United Digestion, we believe in turning food into fuel.
Ralphie: I get it. The bloodstream is like a pizza delivery service, only it delivers energy.
Carlos: Speaking of energy, where's Wanda?
Wanda: Whoa! AAH!
Arnold: [stomach growls] Huh? Did I do it? 2 minutes and 4 seconds? How can I break the school napping record if the stomach keeps waking me up?
Phoebe: Where could she be?
Carlos: I don't see her anywhere.
Phoebe: Wanda, where are you?
Dorothy Ann: Wanda!
Tim: We've been through the entire small intestine and no sign of her.
Carlos: There she is.
Ms. Frizzle: She went into the large intestine.
Tim: The large intestine? You mean there's more? What's that?
Ms. Frizzle: Just Arnold's leftovers.
Carlos: WATCH OUT!
Bus: [horn beeping]
Keesha: Boy, what a ride!
Carlos: Talk about action!
All: P U! WHAT'S THAT? Eww!
Ralphie: Man, if the small intestine was Scuba World, the large intestine was Smell World.
Phoebe: At least it's a lot drier in here.
Carlos: Yeah, but where's Wanda? Wait a minute.
Carlos: This should work. Wanda, if you can hear this, give a shout.
Wanda: Whoa! Whoa!
Carlos: LET'S GO!
All but Carlos: All right!
Keesha: The further we go, the drier it gets.
Tim: It looks like the walls are sucking up all the water.
Ms. Frizzle: That's the large intestine for you. It removes the water from the leftovers.
Carlos: So we have to find Wanda before she gets dried into a raisin.
Ralphie: A raisin? Cool.
Dorothy Ann & Phoebe: Ralphie!
Ralphie: Uh, not cool at all. Terrible, actually. Heh heh.
All: Yikes! AAH!
All: [gasps] WANDA! DON'T!
Wanda: AAH! AAH! WHOA!
Carlos: GOT YOU!
Phoebe: All right, Carlos! You saved her.
Wanda: Saved me? I was having a blast! Arnold's digestive system is the wildest, scariest, best scream-your-lungs-out-ride in the world!
Ms. Frizzle: And it's not over yet.
Ralphie: We've done the mouth, we've done the esophagus, the stomach, the small intestine, the large intestine. What could be next? The EXTRA-LARGE intestine?
Ms. Frizzle: No. We just have to join the rest of the waste products and finish the trip.
Dorothy Ann: Wait a minute. According to my research, the waste products go...
Keesha: No way!
Phoebe: At my old school, we were never allowed to end up in the toilet.
Ms. Frizzle: Anyone had a better idea?
Wanda: We could go back to the mouth and ride it again.
Tim & Phoebe: Wanda!
Tim: She's right. We could go back to where we came. I've been keeping track, and the digestive system is just one long tube divided into parts. We started off in the mouth, got squeezed down the esophagus, landed in the stomach, got pushed into the small intestine, and wound up here in the large intestine, and since we don't want to go out here, all we have to do is go backwards. We could go back up the large intestine, back through the small intestine, into the stomach, back up the esophagus, and burst triumphantly out the mouth. It won't be easy.
Ms. Frizzle: You're right, Tim. Digestion pushes everything down. We'll have to fight our way back. We might never make it.
Phoebe: Never Say Never, Ms. Frizzle.
All: Ha ha ha!
Arnold: How can I break the record for eating lunch if I can't FIND my lunch? Hmm. I wonder if there's any rules about it having to be MY lunch. A chocolate mallow-blaster!
Ms. Frizzle: ♪ She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes ♪ YEE-HA! Full speed ahead!
Ralphie: This is insane.
Wanda: Consider the alternative.
Ralphie: You know, biking is my favorite sport.
Ms. Frizzle: Now!
Ms. Frizzle: So much for the easy part.
All: The easy part?
Tim: Yeah. Remember all the muscle power that oushed us down the esophagus?
Keesha: And it's almost noon! If Arnold eats lunch, there's gonna be tons of food raining down on us.
Arnold: If i eat Ralphie's lunch and break the lunch-eating record real fast, Wanda will think I'm the best thing since velcro shoe fasteners, but then Ralphie will be steamed at me for eternity. [stomach grumbling]
Wanda: What are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
Phoebe: Wanda, what are we going to do?
Wanda: I've got it!
Arnold: But if I don't eat something, I'll wither away to nothing. I know! I could eat Ralphie's lunch and think upa good excuse on a full stomach.
Arnold: What? I've heard my stomach growl before, but talk?
Wanda: Arnold! Are YOU about to eat Ralphie's mallow-blaster?
Arnold: Uh, no. I-I mean, yes. HEY! Wait a second. Who is this?
Wanda: This is your conscience, Arnold. You know you shouldn't eat Ralphie's mallow-blaster. Besides, you're not even hungry.
Arnold: Not hungry? I could eat a--
Wanda: You just think you're hungry. What you really are is thirsty.
Arnold: I am?
Wanda: Trust me. You are. Now, there's a nice bottle of seltzer in Wanda's lunch bag. THAT'S what you really want.
Arnold: Uh, O.K., I guess. Hey. How come it's O.K. to drink Wanda's seltzer but it's not O.K. to eat Ralphie's mallow-blaster?
Wanda: Beacause Wanda's a far kinder and more generous human being that Ralphie when it comes to sharing.
Arnold: Then how come when she has a mallow-blaster, she hogs it all to herself?
Wanda: Look, I'm you conscience, all right? Just do what I say and drink the seltzer NOW!!
Arnold: Time me.
Kids: WAY TO GO, ARNOLD!
Wanda: Now let's rock the bus to create a giant gas bubble.
Kids: IT'S WORKING! IT'S WORKING!
Arnold: Now what?
Arnold: [belch] Did I break the seltzer-chugging record? I'll never break a record. I'll never win anything. I'll never even get to eat lunch.
Ms. Frizzle: Did someone say "Lunch"?
Wanda: Ahem. Congratulations, Arnold.
Wanda: You just broke the record for being the best field trip ever.
Wanda: And giving me the ride of my dreams.
Arnold: You mean, I - was the field trip?
Arnold: But where exactly did you go? [stomach grumbles] You went inside...?
All: Ha ha ha!
Arnold: Ms. Frizzle, no matter what, I'll never miss another field trip, never, ever, ever, EVER!
Ms. Frizzle: Wonderful, Arnold.
Arnold: Um, starting right after the next one.
All but Arnold: Ha ha ha!
[The Magic School Bus: For Lunch ends.]